Reflections

In a moment of silence, I pause and recollect, all the aspects of my life

I close my eyes as I reflect upon things that brought me pain

A frown came upon my face as I continued to reflect

Then choosing not to stay so quite severe, I reflect upon what made me

proud.

Suddenly, that frown is gone to find a smile that fills me up with joy

I continue to reflect to how I came to be where I am now

But once again that frown crept in and stole my smile, and filled my heart

with sadness.

Then I reflect, how hard it was for me to overcome, so many obstacles

And here came that smile again out from its hiding place

Filling me with enormous gratification for having survived.

The ups, the downs, the ins, the outs, of what life threw at me

It was as if, this was a blueprint of my soul in the mortal sense.

The reflections did mirror my soul, and give a promise of hope for

tomorrow.

I continued to smile as my reflections run my frown away.

The Pursuit of Happiness

I have seen a lot of post that talk about your children, love, faith, pain and trials and tribulations. I only want to say that Lord knows that I have had my share and beyond. There were times I thought I would never survive the pain and suffering, but there was always one constant in my life besides The Almighty, it was the SMILE upon my children's faces, the twinkle in their innocent eyes that beckoned me at my weakest points. They lifted me when hope was gone and pain prevailed. The Creator, Supreme Being, Lord Almighty, knew what he was doing when he made women mothers. He gave us the direct line to HIM! Without that I would certainly not be here telling you this, I would have drowned in my sorrow because I had no one to love me unconditionally, my children! I am here because I am a MOTHER who has made her share of mistakes because after all there is NO play book that outlines exactly what to do at each juncture of their lives. It is a guessing game molded by a lot of things mostly present circumstances and surroundings, and experiences. None of us are perfect and the Lord, Almighty knows and understands that, as he has created us. Therefore, we must NOT be too hard on ourselves when we get it wrong, make a mistake or just screw up, but try to do better with other opportunities given to us such as with our grandchildren. With our grandchildren, we have experienced almost everything from our own, so we are better equipped to share the VERY BEST! That is the cycle that continues how the LOVE CIRCLE keeps growing getting bigger and bigger and knowing no bounds, only LOVE!!!
To all of you out there, being a mother is my greatest achievement, 1st only to be a grandmother. All praises due unto The Lord for allowing me the opportunity! Without that initial LOVE, I would have ceased to exist. That LOVE gave me strength to survive if only for my children even when the pain was unbearable. I gained strength from The Lord through the gifts/blessings he gave me, my children. Now I am able to continue my pursuit of happiness and I have found it in my grandchildren, my children and my new life that The Lord has blessed me. Thank you!

Office Medley

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PUDDING

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Looking For One's Self

It is without a doubt a change phenomenon of “looking for one’s self”. Most of us will spend a lifetime never knowing that we should seize every opportunity to venture on such a journey. That journey in which we embark may unfold secrets that have affected us our whole lives that we never understood until the truth be told. Other times it’s like “catch 22”, you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t. Well, I don’t know about you, but I would rather have all the facts no matter how ugly they may be, so I have the opportunity to put them in their proper prospective and hopefully alleviate the “skeletons”.

I know that the journey I have been on during my life has absolutely been like a roller coaster ride. Scare the crap out of you and at the same time get your adrenalin flowing to the point you are almost rejuvenated and prepared to survive the torturous ride again. Now, mind you, I am by no means a roller coaster ride lover. In fact, I will not go on it again. But, I did learn that despite my fears, I survived and was stronger for the experience.  Here for all who are challenging the journey, just remember this:   

               

Blessings By Shereema Ibrahim, 6/9/05

Hidden behind every door is a blessing
Around every corner is a blessing, At every crossroad we choose our blessing
We go about our lives struggling to make sense, The everyday occurrences of
Getting up..........washing up, Getting dressed...........doing our hair
Walking............talking..........thinking............breathing
In and of themselves, they are each a blessing, Sometimes the path we’re on, chosen or forced upon
We struggle through, Pain............anger...........rage
And then hopelessness, Surrounded by absolute darkness
There is always light, The choice is ours; it’s called “Free Will”
A blessing in itself, To fight.........be strong.........to rise above
To see beyond the trees, To learn..............to grow
Teach others what we’ve come to know
Use our struggle..........pain...............and agony
To turn things all around
Reap the blessings of your survival, Then be blessed for doing so.

When They're Gone

We think we have it altogether...we are strong enough to go about our day without a care or worry. Then suddenly we feel as though the rug has pulled out from under our feet. Humbled by default to acknowledge we feel lost, empty, something missing with no resolution. Thumbing through our thoughts to find something we can grasp onto other than ourselves. It does not work to fill the hole that is deep within. We find ourselves running from the thoughts that seem to haunt us, except it's like being chased in your dreams and mind is telling you that you're running, but you actually are stuck in one place.

Yes, you finally admit that the reason you are totally feeling unbalanced is because someone you love is no longer there. You cannot get a reassuring hug, rest your head on their shoulder or tell them your tale for the day. They are NOT there! You actually miss them like you never thought you would. It hurts to just give thought to their absence though you pause to give way to a smile in remembrance of one of their tales they shared. Within the smile is a yearning to be in their presence. Your heart aches with desire to just be held again, to see their smile, to hear their laugh and know they are there.

Unfortunately, they are gone! Now you truly know how much love you have for them. It's not that you didn't know before that you loved them, but somehow that love intensifies in their absence.

Just remember to never waste a moment in time to acknowledge in the here and now how much you love before "They're Gone".

NEW CHAPTER

************NEW CHAPTER************

Amazing how we get to a certain point in our lives and are told we are all grown up now and are now on our own to figure things out. Then some years later, we realize the reason the other grown ups older than us could not tell us more is they either did not know the answers themselves or they suffered from a very inevitable disease called "CRS", which one the elders happily informed me now that it means "cant remember shit!" Yes, that's right I said it, just as she told me which was hard to believe she was saying, but was funny as heck because it was so true. I couldn't believe she hit the nail on the head without me telling her that I couldn't remember what I had done with my keys for days. I knew I didn't lose them, but only couldn't remember where I put them to save my life. LOL!!!

Whatever this new chapter is, it definitely has a lot more positive promises than any of my other chapters. Most times I didn't have a clue where I was going to end up next. The challenges were great, the roads were rough, the journeys were all up hill more like climbing a mountain, but somehow I survived. I would not say that I got up the mountain, but I would describe it more like slipping and sliding back down the mountain to start over on a different track. Now I am starting a "new chapter" of my life on an even smooth path with nothing but positive possibilities. 

Will I have now the ability to share my new found wisdom with the next who enters their new chapter?